snails in her suitcase

* Tiny stories * Photographs of South America * Long-winded tropical romances & letters home

slaughterhouse90210: “Adolescence is best enjoyed without self-consciousness, but self-consciousness, unfortunately, is its leading symptom. Even when something important happens to you, even when your heart’s getting crushed or exalted, even when you’re absorbed in building the foundations of a personality, there comes these moments when you’re aware that what’s happening is not the real story. Unless you actually die, the real story is still ahead of you. This alone, this cruel mixture of consciousness and irrelevance, this built-in hollowness, is enough to account for how pissed off you are.”― Jonathan Franzen, The Discomfort Zone High school and those early college years: Everything seemed so heavy, and yet at the same time so absurdly melodramatic because I had this feeling in the back of my mind that none of it mattered, that my hang-ups weren´t allowed to be real yet because I wasn´t real yet. Now I’m actually doing real grown up things and maintaining real jobs and relationships. At first glance they seem to hold more weight in my life, but when I think about the events and people that affected me between the ages of 21 and 24, they´re nowhere as scathingly vivid or painful as those that happened between 15 and 20. My insecurities at my first internship at a magazine, or the first class I taught as an English teacher, in no way compared to the sense of inadequacy I felt at my first job at Herman’s Party Supply, where I had this unrelenting fear that my co-workers hated me and was convinced that I would never learn how to properly use a cash register, and thus never hold a proper job. And the people from those years. Oh god. I talk to almost none of them. Now, when I get upset at a friend, I talk to them about it and we work it out. But I swear, I will never get over those people from high school.  

slaughterhouse90210:

“Adolescence is best enjoyed without self-consciousness, but self-consciousness, unfortunately, is its leading symptom. Even when something important happens to you, even when your heart’s getting crushed or exalted, even when you’re absorbed in building the foundations of a personality, there comes these moments when you’re aware that what’s happening is not the real story. Unless you actually die, the real story is still ahead of you. This alone, this cruel mixture of consciousness and irrelevance, this built-in hollowness, is enough to account for how pissed off you are.”
― Jonathan Franzen, The Discomfort Zone

High school and those early college years: Everything seemed so heavy, and yet at the same time so absurdly melodramatic because I had this feeling in the back of my mind that none of it mattered, that my hang-ups weren´t allowed to be real yet because I wasn´t real yet.

Now I’m actually doing real grown up things and maintaining real jobs and relationships. At first glance they seem to hold more weight in my life, but when I think about the events and people that affected me between the ages of 21 and 24, they´re nowhere as scathingly vivid or painful as those that happened between 15 and 20. My insecurities at my first internship at a magazine, or the first class I taught as an English teacher, in no way compared to the sense of inadequacy I felt at my first job at Herman’s Party Supply, where I had this unrelenting fear that my co-workers hated me and was convinced that I would never learn how to properly use a cash register, and thus never hold a proper job.

And the people from those years. Oh god. I talk to almost none of them. Now, when I get upset at a friend, I talk to them about it and we work it out. But I swear, I will never get over those people from high school.  

1 year ago

  1. micheleundernth reblogged this from slaughterhouse90210 and added:
    Um YES
  2. with-a-weathered-heart reblogged this from slaughterhouse90210 and added:
    “Adolescence is best enjoyed without self-consciousness, but self-consciousness, unfortunately, is its leading symptom....
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    (I promise I’ll stop reblogging...stuff now) (but yes)
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